How I Think About Sex and Relationships
I am Wendy Haggerty, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Certified Sex Therapist, an AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist, and a clinical sexologist. Those credentials matter, and I will say more about why in a moment, but the first thing I want you to know is simpler than any title. I believe that concerns about sex, desire, and closeness are almost never isolated problems that live off by themselves. They are woven into your history, your body, your relationship, the messages you absorbed growing up, the stress you are carrying, and the way you and the people you love reach for one another. When I sit with you, I am not looking at a symptom to be fixed. I am trying to understand a whole person, and often a whole relationship, in context.
So much of what brings people to my office carries a heavy layer of shame. People arrive convinced that something is broken in them, that they are the only one who feels this way, or that wanting more, or wanting differently, means there is something wrong with who they are. I see it differently. Most of what you might be struggling with makes complete sense once we understand where it came from and what it has been protecting. My job is to help you make that sense, gently and without judgment, and then to help you change what you want to change.
How I Actually Work in Session
People sometimes imagine that sex therapy involves something clinical, awkward, or physical. It does not. I practice talk therapy. We sit together, in my office or over a secure video connection, and we talk. What makes the work different is that I am comfortable talking directly and warmly about sex, intimacy, arousal, desire, and the tender places most people were taught to keep quiet. You do not have to find the perfect words. You do not have to perform. You bring what is real, and I help you put language to it.
I draw on several approaches, and I blend them to fit the person in front of me rather than forcing anyone into a single method. Emotionally Focused Therapy, or EFT, helps me understand the emotional bond between partners and the cycles that pull them apart. When couples get stuck in the same painful loop again and again, EFT gives us a way to slow down, see the loop clearly, and reach for each other in a new way. Evidence-based couples work gives me practical, research-informed tools for the everyday mechanics of a relationship: how you handle conflict, how you repair after a rupture, how you keep friendship and fondness alive alongside desire.
Internal Family Systems, or IFS, helps me work with the different parts of you. Maybe one part of you longs for closeness while another part braces against it, or a part that carries old hurt keeps stepping in at the worst moments. IFS lets us get to know those parts with curiosity instead of criticism, so they stop working against you. Narrative approaches help us look at the stories you have been telling about yourself and your relationship, notice which ones no longer serve you, and author something truer. None of these are rigid systems I apply from a manual. They are lenses, and I choose the ones that help you most.
Who I Help
I work with individuals, with partners, and with couples. Some people come to me on their own to work through personal concerns about desire, arousal, body image, sexual identity, or the aftereffects of a painful experience. Others come as a pair because something between them has grown distant, tense, or quiet, and they want their connection back. I see a wide range of concerns, and you can read more about the areas I focus on across my services, including sex therapy, couples therapy, and individual therapy.
Common reasons people reach out include differences in desire between partners, difficulty feeling present or aroused, loss of closeness after years together, healing after a betrayal, and recovering a sense of safety after sexual trauma. If any of that sounds familiar, you might find it helpful to look at how I approach desire discrepancies, intimacy issues, and sexual trauma. Wherever you are starting from, you are welcome here.
What a Typical Arc of Therapy Looks Like
People often want to know how long therapy takes, and the honest answer is that it depends on what you are working on and what you want out of it. That said, I can describe the general shape. In the early sessions, we get to know each other, and I get to know your history, your relationship, and what you hope will be different. This is where we build safety and a shared understanding of the terrain. There is no rush in this phase, because the trust we establish here is what makes the deeper work possible.
From there, we move into the heart of the work. This is where we address the patterns, the emotions, and the specific concerns that brought you in. For some people, meaningful relief comes in a matter of a few months of steady weekly work. For others, especially when we are healing older wounds or reshaping long-standing relationship patterns, the work unfolds over a longer stretch. As things improve, we naturally space sessions out and turn toward consolidating what you have learned so it holds up after our work together ends. I will always be honest with you about where I think we are, and you are always in charge of the pace.
What Makes Working With a Certified Sex Therapist Different
Many caring, competent therapists feel unsure when a client raises something sexual. They may change the subject, treat it as secondary, or simply lack specialized training in this area. As an AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist and clinical sexologist, I have pursued advanced education and supervision specifically focused on sexuality and intimacy. That means you can bring the parts of your life that feel most private, most vulnerable, or most stigmatized, and know that you are talking with someone who is genuinely comfortable and knowledgeable in this territory.
It also means I understand how deeply sexual concerns connect to the rest of a person and a relationship. I do not treat sex as a mechanical issue to troubleshoot, and I do not treat it as too delicate to discuss. I hold it as an ordinary, important part of being human, worthy of the same thoughtful attention as anything else that affects your wellbeing.
Shame, Safety, and Confidentiality
I want to say a direct word about shame, because it is often the biggest obstacle to getting help. If part of you is worried about being judged, that worry is welcome here too. My stance is unwavering: you will not be shamed in my office. There is nothing you can tell me about your desires, your history, or your struggles that will make me think less of you. I have seen how much courage it takes simply to make the first call, and I honor that.
Safety and confidentiality are foundational to everything I do. What you share with me is private and protected within the limits of the law, and I will explain exactly how that works when we begin. My aim is to build a space where you can finally exhale and speak freely, perhaps for the first time.
In Person in Sarasota, or Virtual Across Florida
I see clients in person at MindSpa Integrative Wellness Center, located at 5632 Bee Ridge Road in Sarasota, and I also offer secure virtual sessions to clients throughout Florida and Connecticut. Some people prefer the grounding of being in the room together. Others value the convenience and comfort of meeting from their own home, especially when schedules are full or when talking about sensitive topics feels easier in a familiar space. Both formats offer the same depth of care, and many clients move between them as life requires. You can learn more about how sessions work on my client resources page.
Common Questions
Do I need a partner to come to sex therapy?
No. I work with individuals and with couples. Plenty of people come on their own, whether or not they are in a relationship, to work on personal concerns about desire, body image, identity, or healing. If you are partnered, you are welcome to come alone, together, or a mix of both over time.
Is sex therapy explicit or physical in any way?
No. My work is entirely talk-based and always fully clothed and professional. There is no physical component and no nudity. We talk, the way you would in any therapy, with the difference that I am comfortable discussing sexuality openly and without embarrassment.
What if I feel too embarrassed to talk about this?
That feeling is common, and it is welcome. You do not have to arrive polished or articulate. We go at your pace, and I help you find words for things that have felt unspeakable. Many people are surprised by how quickly the embarrassment eases once they realize they are truly not being judged.
How is a sex therapist different from a regular counselor?
Beyond my training as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I hold certification as an AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist and work as a clinical sexologist. That specialized education means I am specifically trained to help with sexual and intimate concerns, rather than treating them as an afterthought or a topic to avoid.
How often will we meet, and for how long?
Most people begin with weekly sessions, then move to less frequent meetings as things improve. The overall length depends entirely on your goals. Some concerns ease within a few months, while deeper healing can take longer. We revisit the plan together, and you are always in control of the pace.
How do I get started?
The best first step is a free consultation, where we can talk briefly about what is going on and whether we are a good fit. There is no pressure and no commitment. You can request one through my consultation page or reach out through my contact page, and I will personally help you find a time.
An Invitation
If you have read this far, some part of you is looking for something to change. That part deserves to be listened to. Reaching out does not commit you to anything except a conversation, and that conversation is free. Whether your questions are about you, your relationship, or simply whether therapy is the right step, I would be glad to talk. When you feel ready, I invite you to book a free consultation, and we will take it from there, together.