There is a whole category of human experience that most of us were never given permission to explore out loud. Not the version handed to you by family, faith, culture, or the person you happened to marry, but the honest question underneath all of it: what do I actually want? If that question makes you feel a little nervous and a little relieved at the same time, you are in exactly the right place.
Exploring your sexuality is not a problem to be solved. It is a process. It is the slow, sometimes surprising work of getting curious about your desires, your attractions, your fantasies, and the parts of yourself you may have set aside a long time ago. My job is not to tell you who you are or hand you a conclusion. My job is to walk beside you while you figure it out for yourself.
Who Comes to This Work
People arrive at exploration from many different doorways, and none of them require a crisis to be valid.
Some of you are questioning. You have felt something that does not fit the story you were told about yourself, and you want space to look at it honestly without being rushed toward a label.
Some of you are newly single after a long relationship or marriage. For years your sexuality was defined in relationship to one other person, and now you have the strange and sometimes disorienting freedom to ask what you actually like.
Some of you are coming to this later in life. Maybe you spent decades meeting everyone else's expectations, and now, with more self-knowledge and less to prove, you are ready to meet yourself.
Some of you are simply curious. Nothing is wrong. You do not feel broken. You just have a sense that there is more to understand about your own desire, your own body, and your own history, and you want a thoughtful place to explore it.
All of these are welcome. You do not need a reason that sounds serious enough. Wanting to understand yourself more deeply is reason enough.
What I Mean by Non-Directive
The most important thing I can tell you about this work is that it has no predetermined destination. I am not here to confirm a suspicion, to talk you into anything, or to steer you toward the answer that would be tidiest. There is no quota of clarity you have to reach and no label waiting at the finish line.
Some people explore for a season and come away with a word that fits them well. Others come away with a richer, more complicated sense of themselves that no single word could hold. Both of those are successful outcomes. The goal is your clarity, whatever shape it takes, not my agenda for you.
Being non-directive also means I will not pathologize your curiosity. Desire is not a symptom. Fantasy is not a confession. Questioning is not a phase to be corrected. I hold all of it as ordinary human material worth understanding, and I bring warmth and steadiness rather than judgment to whatever you decide to look at.
The Kinds of Questions We Explore
Every person's exploration is their own, but there are threads that come up again and again in this work.
We might look at attraction: who and what draws you, and whether the categories you inherited actually describe your experience. If you find yourself wondering about your orientation, that is its own rich terrain, and my page on sexual orientation speaks to it more directly.
We might explore desire itself: what turns it on, what turns it off, how it has changed over your life, and the difference between the desire you think you should have and the desire you actually feel.
We might make room for fantasy without shame. Fantasies are not instructions and they are not always literal. Understanding what a fantasy is really about can tell you a great deal about your needs, and some people find that curiosity leads them toward exploring BDSM and kink with more intention and safety.
We might look at the stories you absorbed early: the messages about what was allowed, what was shameful, what was normal, and how those messages still shape what you let yourself want.
And we might sit with uncertainty, because tolerating not-knowing is itself a skill. A great deal of good exploration happens in the space before an answer arrives.
Exploration Is Not the Same as Deciding
One fear I hear often is that starting this conversation means committing to something. That looking at a question means you will have to act on it, tell someone, or change your whole life. I want to gently loosen that knot.
Exploring a desire is not the same as acting on it. Naming an attraction is not the same as announcing it. Wondering about your identity is not a promise you have made to anyone. In our work, you get to hold things up to the light, turn them over, and set them back down if that is what feels right. Nothing here obligates you to a next step you are not ready for.
This matters especially if you are exploring while in a relationship, a marriage, or a community where these questions feel loaded. You are allowed to understand yourself first, privately, without deciding what any of it means for anyone else yet. Clarity for yourself can come before, and separate from, any conversation with anyone else.
How I Work With You
I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, an AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor, and a clinical sexologist. In practical terms, that means I have spent years being trained specifically in the territory that most therapists are never taught to discuss with any real depth or comfort.
Our sessions are collaborative and paced by you. Early on, we get a sense of what brought you here and what you hope to understand. From there, we follow your curiosity. Some weeks we might explore your history. Other weeks we might talk about something specific that came up for you. You set the pace, and you decide how far and how fast.
I bring a plain-spoken, open, and non-judgmental presence. You will not have to educate me about your experience or brace yourself for a reaction. I have heard a wide range of human desire across my years of practice, and I can promise you that whatever you bring is not too much, too strange, or too late.
If, along the way, you find that you want to work on something adjacent, such as anxiety, self-worth, or the way your history shapes your present, we can widen the lens. Sometimes exploring sexuality opens into deeper individual therapy, and that is a natural and welcome direction if it is where you want to go.
Exploring Alongside a Relationship
You do not have to be single to do this work. Plenty of people explore their sexuality while partnered, and doing so does not mean something is broken. Sometimes it is the healthiest thing a person can do: to understand their own desire well enough to bring a fuller self back to their relationship.
We will be thoughtful about the realities of your life. If your exploration touches your relationship, we can be honest about that without me pushing you toward any particular outcome. Whether the work stays entirely about you or eventually includes conversations with a partner is your call, made on your timeline.
In Sarasota and Online
I see clients in person at MindSpa Integrative Wellness Center, at 5632 Bee Ridge Road in Sarasota, Florida, and I also work online with clients across Florida and Connecticut. Online sessions are a genuinely good fit for this kind of work. Many people find it easier to speak openly about desire and identity from the privacy of their own space, and the depth of the work is the same either way.
Whether we meet face to face or on a screen, my commitment is the same: a confidential, unhurried, non-judgmental place to understand yourself. You can read more about me and how I practice, look through the full range of services I offer, or find answers to common questions on my frequently asked questions page.
A Gentle Invitation
Curiosity about your own sexuality is not something to be ashamed of or something to fix. It is one of the most honest and human things you can attend to. You are not broken, and you are not alone in wondering.
If any of this resonates, I would be glad to talk. Your first consultation is free, confidential, and comes with no obligation and no pressure to arrive at any particular answer. It is simply a chance to see whether this feels like the right space for you. When you are ready, you can book a free consultation and we will take it from there, one honest step at a time.
Related support
You can browse all of my services, read more about how I work, find answers on the common questions page, or book a free consultation whenever you feel ready.